For this child, we have prayed. Our son Ben was what people refer to as our “rainbow” baby, he was born after the loss of a child due to a miscarriage. He represented hope and renewal, and the entire family was excited. He came into our family, and I loved seeing how his dad and older brother doted on him. Ben lived up to expectations as he brought so much joy and laughter to our family.
Because his brother was 11 years older, within a few short years we had one in college and one in elementary school. During that time, while home on Christmas break, Ben’s older brother had to have his wisdom teeth removed. He was prescribed painkillers that he used for two days before going back to school, leaving the remaining pills behind. This began Ben’s long battle with addiction – he was 11 years old when he began to take those remaining pills.
At first, it was small things like some money missing or prescriptions not lasting that my husband and I noticed. It quickly escalated to bigger things like laptops, tools, and even our vehicles went missing. His crimes progressed and the police were involved. This eventually led to jail time, house arrests, and being on probation. Ben was also in and out of rehab as he was being held accountable. Amid all this, he had periods of time when he was clean. But sadly, he would relapse, and the cycle would continue. It was also during one of those relapses, he escalated to heroin and meth.
It was during this time that things seemed out of control that we found PAL. We did not know what to expect but one thing that we knew right away, we were no longer alone in our battle to save our son. We learned so much about the disease of addiction and received support from others in our darkest days. As our facilitator says, the wisdom is in the group. It was through connections at PAL that we learned of treatment resources in another state. Our son agreed to go to this residential treatment program across the country and we hoped for the best. As we have learned, things may not always go as planned and he left the treatment program after a few months, and we learned he was homeless on the streets for some time. Things quickly caught up with him and after he was caught stealing a very expensive mountain bike, he was sentenced to two years in prison. Those were scary times, and I am forever grateful to my PAL family who prayed with us and encouraged us through it all.
During his time at the prison, Ben met another inmate who had been a successful businessman. And although you never would have thought he would get good advice in prison, this person spoke with him and gave him hope for a better future. I have learned to be thankful for the journey and eventually, our son served his time and came out of prison with 6 months of sobriety. Again, our PAL community came through and when our son asked, we let him know of a local sober living and he agreed to go there. This sober living home not only became his living arrangement, but they helped him get a job and started to rebuild his life.
I sometimes find it hard to believe, but today Ben has over 5 years in recovery. He is married, owns a home, and is working in the field of recovery. PAL is still a very big part of my life. I still attend meetings every week to give hope to others who are walking this journey and are scared and worried about their loved ones. If I could share what PAL gave me with others, it would be to remember that I am not in control, the wisdom is in the group, and to never give up hope. There is no way I could have written this story of our amazing boy, and had it work out the way it has. I truly believe that God makes something beautiful out of the ugly. I have friends I would never have met except through PAL. They are my incredible blessings from God.
PAL Mom
