My wife and I have been married for 55 years and sadly, addiction has been a part of my family for much of that time. I have two sons, my youngest died in 2002 from septic poisoning from a dirty drug needle. I also have four 4 grandchildren, two of whom live with me.
During high school, Amanda, my granddaughter, was all-state choir and sang in a special group. She was also a cheerleader. She was very outgoing and popular with all her classmates. She got caught up in a terrifying situation when she was held against her will by two men who were involved in sex trafficking. The tactic they used was forcing Amanda to take drugs. By the grace of God, the police were able to track her phone and found her. Amanda was willing and went needed to go to rehab. After she returned, she started seeing her sponsor’s brother, who was also suffering from addiction, and she unfortunately went back to using again. At this point, her drug use continued for several years, and she was in and out of jail for several crimes and it was during this time that she contracted COVID at the early stages of the pandemic.
She was hospitalized in ICU for two months suffered from a collapsed lung, her kidneys shut down and she went on dialysis for a week. COVID had also damaged a major valve in her heart. At Christmas that year, rather than celebrating, we began to make plans for her funeral as the doctors were certain she would not survive. God had other plans, and she slowly made a miraculous recovery. As hard as it was to see, she got better physically, only to return to drugs.
Later that year, she was arrested again. It was at this time that I found PAL. I was about to lose my mind and needed help. I knew that when she got out, she would want to come back and live with us. I didn’t know if I could handle her coming back home.
While I was attending PAL meetings and learning what I needed to do for my own recovery, Amanda’s lawyers saw something in her and they were able to get her into a substance abuse treatment facility that is specifically designed for people under felony supervision. She spent the next ten months in prison where she received counseling and other related programs. Amanda was released about a year later and after two months in a halfway house, she was released and came back to live with us.
With her many medical issues, she was unable to find a long-term place to stay so we agreed to have her live with us due to her health situation. Through PAL, we learned about setting boundaries. We shared with Amanda the 12 Principles of Healthy Adult Relationships and we set up the conditions for her to stay in our home. I am happy to report that she found a job, and began to attend two NA MEETINGS a week, on top of the weekly check-ins associated with the substance abuse program she had started in prison. She did everything that was asked of her and more. She received letters of recommendation from her two parole officers, together with her lawyer’s recommendation, she was granted early release from her parole. We can’t believe where she is today from where she was. Today, she is truly working on and looking forward to the next chapter of her life.
For me, joining my PAL group gave me strength, knowledge, experience, and confidence to deal with my granddaughter’s addiction. From the educational topics to hearing the stories from my two years with PAL, I understand that not everyone gets better. Yet, my story so far has a positive outcome. I move forward with cautious optimism, and I cannot tell you how proud I am of my granddaughter. Today, I facilitate a PAL meeting to give back and to bring HOPE to other parents dealing with a loved one’s addiction.
A PAL dad/granddad
