by paladmin | Sep 1, 2023 | Someone In Recovery
​​​​ 2013 Bruised, broken, emaciated, exhausted, and sick. I’m using meth and heroin in a hotel room in Glendale. I’ve been up for three days; when I look at the carpeted floors, they vividly appear to be alive with crawling bugs. I close my eyes and try to...
by paladmin | Aug 1, 2023 | Someone In Recovery
​​​​ Summer. 2011. It’s 110 degrees outside. The sun bakes the concrete courtyard where I sit, the radiation of unbearable warmth rising. I smoke cigarettes with my back leaned up against the wall as I sit on the ground in a spot of shade near the stairway. I don’t...
by paladmin | Jun 1, 2023 | Someone In Recovery
​​​​ I’m present. I’m home sick and have been up all night with a 7-month-old baby but I’m present. Some vitamin B and coffee combined with the exhaustion are creating an odd hyper awareness in me but it’s ok and I’m here for it. I sit with my son out back on the...
by paladmin | May 1, 2023 | Someone In Recovery
​​​​ When I was 15 years old, I had grand aspirations for what my life would look like. I was obsessed with music and playing the guitar and my dream was to be a songwriter who wrote hits and toured the world. I loved reading and writing. I’d get lost in...
by paladmin | Apr 1, 2023 | Someone In Recovery
​​​​ In 2012 I lived at my drug dealer’s apartment. Our arrangement consisted of me providing transportation in exchange for a blanket on the floor in the living room and the occasional free hit of heroin, meth or marijuana. When I was physically able, I delivered...
by paladmin | Mar 1, 2023 | Someone In Recovery
​​​​ November 17, 2012  16th Street and Glendale. Phoenix, Arizona  I’m barely scraping by. I’ve left the halfway house again in my brazen denial of reality – my utter consumption with staying intoxicated fish-hooking me into another miserable situation. I’m in a...
