January invites us into something quiet and sacred. A pause between what was and what could be. A fresh start. And yet, new beginnings often require us to loosen our grip on things that feel familiar, even when they are painful. Sometimes the hardest part of change isn’t stepping into something new but letting go of what we’ve always known.
For much of my life, dysfunction felt normal. It wasn’t healthy, but it was familiar. I learned unhealthy behaviors as coping mechanisms because I thought they were what I needed to survive. At the time, they made sense. They protected me. They helped me endure what I didn’t yet know how to face. But eventually, the old way stopped working.
What once felt like survival slowly became a prison. And that’s when God began to show me something I didn’t fully believe yet; I didn’t have to just survive anymore. I could heal. I could grow. I could thrive.
Addiction doesn’t exist in isolation. It impacts entire families, and when addiction is present, family systems adapt in order to survive. Often, without realizing it, each person steps into a role, not because they want to, but because they’re trying to keep things together. I engaged in all of these roles. There’s the Hero, the Scapegoat, the Mascot, the Lost Child, and the Caretaker.
These roles aren’t character flaws. They are survival strategies. They are learned behaviors formed in response to fear, love, and a deep desire to keep the family intact. But what helps us survive doesn’t always help us heal.
Recovery- real recovery- invites us out of these roles and into something new. It offers the freedom to lay down what no longer serves us and learn healthier ways of relating to one another. It teaches us that we are allowed to grow beyond who we had to be in order to survive.
To the parents reading this: there is hope not just for your loved one struggling with addiction, but for your entire family. Healing is possible for all of you. New patterns can be learned. Honest conversations can happen. Boundaries can be built without losing love. And joy can return, not as a performance, but as something genuine and lasting.
The start of a new year doesn’t require big resolutions or perfect plans. It simply asks for willingness. Willingness to believe that God has more for you than the dysfunction you’ve known. More than fear. More than exhaustion. More than survival.
January reminds me that fresh starts don’t erase the past, they redeem it. They take everything we’ve walked through and say, this mattered, but it doesn’t get the final word.
Today, I choose to believe that healing is real. That thriving is possible. That God is always inviting us into something new-even when it feels uncomfortable to let go of the old.
And maybe that’s the greatest gift of a new beginning: the reminder that none of us have to stay stuck in the roles we learned to survive. There is freedom, health, and hope ahead-for every member of the family.
Jamie, in Recovery
