“What could possibly be different this time? How long have you been sober? When is it going to stick?”
If you’ve walked alongside someone battling addiction, or if you’ve fought the battle yourself, you’ve probably heard these questions—maybe even asked them yourself. They echo in the rooms of recovery circles, whispered by hearts desperate for answers. They come from a place of fear, weariness, and skepticism that is often warranted, but we must cling to relentless hope if we are to survive.
When I think of these questions now, I realize how much weight they put on time, as if the quality and value of a person’s journey could be measured in mere days or minutes. As someone who began battling addiction more than half of my life ago, I can tell you that my story is not defined by the number of days sober that I’ve strung together, but by the seeds of hope that were planted along the way.
Through the darkest chapters of my life—during active addiction, relapses, and countless attempts to numb pain—there were years of clear-minded sobriety and recovery, and sacred moments when someone planted a seed. A therapist who listened without judgment. A fellow addict who shared their story of survival. A treatment center staff member who offered an encouraging word. These seeds may have seemed small or even invisible at the time, but they were never wasted.
Recently, I reconnected with the first therapist I saw as a teenager. He’s now the CEO of a large mental health organization. I had the chance to tell him something that had been on my heart for years: that the work he did with me—though it might have seemed fruitless at the time – was the foundation of my recovery. He planted seeds of hope that would eventually take root.
Even when it seemed I had lost my way for good, the work we did together pointed me back toward the path of recovery after countless detours.
As I reflect on the last three years of continued sobriety, I can still see how those small strides grew into something greater. They gave me the strength to keep going, even when I doubted myself. They taught me that recovery isn’t about how many times you fall—it’s about getting back up. And they showed me that every day is an opportunity to begin again.
To anyone who feels like they’ve fallen too many times or wandered too far off course, there is always hope. If someone like me—a chronic relapser, a person who felt “too far gone”—can find lasting recovery, there is Hope for you to begin again.
Whether you are a parent or family member recovering from codependency or someone battling addiction remember that we don’t need to solve all of life’s problems at once. We only need to take the next step, the next breath, the next 24 hours. Each day is a fresh start, a chance to let go of guilt, fear, and reservations and step into hope.
As we begin the New Year, let’s embrace the relentless hope that has carried so many of us through. Let’s honor the things we learned in our darkest moments, knowing that they indeed have value and let that grow into something beautiful.
We do not know what tomorrow will bring, but we can choose to embrace today as a gift. Let’s use it to be of service to others, to share our stories, and to remind the next person that they’re not alone.
Hope is indeed relentless.
To a New Year, a New Day, and a New Beginning.
-Jamie, in recovery
